Let me tell you about this guy Jon Gruden. Derp derp Jon Gruden derp derp. Dave Hart, derp, Jon Gruden and sources and stuff, derp.

That’s pretty much how this goes, right? This is what we expect from a Tennessee blog these days, isn’t it? I guess, as an avid Internet loiterer and full-fledged Tennessee football addict I should have a pretty good handle on this by now, but I’ve been clean for over three weeks now and I’m feeling pretty good.

By Michael Bailey

 Twenty four years ago pop icon Michael Jackson pleaded with his listeners to take a look at the "Man in the Mirror." 

 Though I'm sure he wasn't prophetically appealing to a recently dismissed Vols football coach, I believe Jackson's words should hit home with the departed Derek Dooley. 

On July 29, 1908, Harland and Wolff (builders) presented drawings for an Olympic-class ocean liner to White Star Line Executives.  Shortly thereafter, papers were signed, and construction began on the $7.5 million (approximately $400 million today) behemoth known as the Titanic.  The world had never seen a vessel the likes of the Titanic.  From its massive size to its plush amenities, it was state-of-the-art in every detail.  After the deal was inked for construction of the Titanic, countless workers toiled for 26 months to complete the beautiful ship.  

Life on a college beat can be quite tedious under the general pretenses of stability within the athletic department. It’s a difficult job, but when things are going well – or, at least, as planned – it can get repetitive. Same stories day in and day out with a slightly different spin.

However, when things go poorly, there aren’t many more stressful gigs on the planet. There’s source development, information gathering, fact checking, content creation and a million other things wrapped into one long stream of consciousness, all normally under the celestial sphere of tight nightly deadlines with Wes Rucker, Brent Hubbs and friends all doing their own Atlas impersonations.

All things told the local media has done a fantastic job covering the disaster that is Tennessee football right now. The problem, however, has been with the way their work has been interpreted both by Tennessee’s fanbase and the national media.

11/4/12

By Michael Bailey

This picture created my story. I laughed out loud after seeing this digital masterpiece of Coach Dooley going Beverly Hills Ninja on the Hallowed grounds of Shields-Watkins field with his battle ax- er walking cane. 

Love him or hate him, Dooley has provided me with many chuckles (and much more heartache) over the past couple years. Seeing the glass half full, I'm going to run through some of the funniest photos Dooley has given us the Vol Nation- wins in meaningful games would have been nice, but laughter is the best medicine for a 0-14 record vs. ranked opponents per the Readers Digest. 

Derek Doolander

Move over Harvard Lampoon, the University of Tennessee student body has ample comedic talents as this recent photo of The Rock proved. 

Props to the creative minds who loaded up on Red Bull and put this Mona Lisa together. The reference is classic. The subject fits the movie's title character in appearance and context. The paintwork is magnificent. A++

Leather helmet 

Although this victory over NC State in the 2012 Chick Fil-A Kickoff Classic injected life into the program, this post game photo struck me as humorous from day 1. 

To me, it looks like the players are making fun of Dooley. "Look at our coach in the play helmet!" The next photo involves an even better costume. 

Halloween Dooley

I don't know who dressed this young Vol fan, but he looks the part. 

Bet he could give our defense a better chance than Sunseri. Your thoughts? 

Though Dooley's days may be numbered, (and I hope they are for the record) he has given me some laughs- and hey- you can't measure happiness in Wins and Losses. 

Semantics of convincingly winning out down the stretch run aside, the Derek Dooley era at the University of Tennessee is not-so-slowly dwindling to an end. Compliments of a 14-19 overall record and one SEC win in his last 13 conference games, Dooley will likely press and fold those handcrafted orange slacks and stash away the memories of his time at Tennessee in some box destined for some attic in the next stage of his life.

Ten years from now, we’ll allude to Dooley’s time in Knoxville as the punch line to a joke – akin to the Mike Shula jokes at Alabama and the Ray Goff jokes at Georgia. I’ll remember it a little bit differently. no comments

When I was in the second grade, I had an ongoing feud with a classmate.  I'm not talking about your average nip & tuck child's play but rather an at daggers drawn Hatfields and McCoys style year long tussle.  During the ebbs and flows of the school year, several attempts at a truce were brokered.  During once such "truce", I unfortunately learned the "Karate Secret".  

Predictions from armchair quarterbacks often aren't worth the spit used to lubricate the body parts responsible for turning thoughts into spoken word.  Therefore, I'll type them.  This will be a brief post; I just want to document how I believe this season will play out for the Vols and Coach Dooley.  I will first document how I wish the season would turn out:

As I type these words after a long day of hosting a yard sale, spending time with family and watching the Vols get decimated by the Bammers, I have a few thoughts to convey on the two pervasive attitudes and outlooks of Volunteer fans taking to social media to voice their opinions of how their fellow Orange clad zealots should be conducting themselves during this time of woe.  (Whew!  That may be the most insanely long run-on sentence I have ever typed to open up a blog post.)

As the smothering soot and darkness that commonly precedes The Dark Lord Nick Saban envelops Knoxville, we all assume that Derek Dooley needs to be thinking about where to go from here. On the precipice of 3-4, how do you keep a team that willingly admits to quitting against Kentucky a year ago on the path to the seven or eight wins he desperately needs this season to keep his orange pants?

That’s not to say that anyone advocates lying down against Alabama by any means, but there needs to be some sort of exit strategy – a way to keep this football team focused on the long term goals of this program in the wake of a loss that is about as inevitable as inevitable gets, not just for Tennessee, but for every other team in the country that parks itself between Tuscaloosa and the Orange Bowl.

How bad will it be against Alabama this Saturday?